'Sonic the Hedgehog 3' briefing

3 (out of 4)

            PUSH THE BUTTON

I’ve purposely neglected to throw in my two cents about Sonic with each passing movie — the first was basically the last theatrical release to take the money and run right before the pandemic hit hard in 2020, and the second was one of the surest early signs that we’d come full circle around COVID in spring of 2022. Needless to say I consider myself a movie guy, not some video game NERD, and thus the new wave of more legitimate adaptations (finally not so frequently derided and ridiculed) has taken some time to reconcile with.

In general Mortal Kombat has either some of the worst lines of the 90s or you’ve only seen the 2021 version, with a sequel due next year. I for one have never experienced the Resident Evil franchise but would probably enjoy it if I did — elsewhere I remember watching Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li because I heard just how laughably bad it was, and it didn’t disappoint (the 90s original can't be too far off). Silent Hill has only been followed by the likes of Five Nights at Freddy’s, Lord knows when horror gaming will be tapped for mucho moolah. But like, Gran Turismo? Need for Speed? Angry Birds and Assassin’s Creed? What could these amount to? Fuck I did review that Lara Croft reboot, 2018's Tomb Raider, what a forgettable flick. Back in the day I enjoyed Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time for what it was. Alas, as far as the most watched game adaptations, I skipped Warcraft, Uncharted and didn’t even know Rampage was one. I can say Detective Pikachu is the poorest excuse for a major live action Pokemon movie, and The Super Mario Bros. Movie was as good as it needed to be for its massive global audience. So you see, I barely know what I’m talking about.

ANYWAY, Sonic has carried the torch on finding a real space for all this crap, and this third installment is a weirdly self-actualizing moment for both vidya at large and Sonic specifically. Finagling that detached yet sincere tone, measuring out the meta humor, and knowing how to tune out the human element without losing it altogether, director Jeff Fowler has been there for the whole hog thus far… all told Sonic the Hedgehog 3 isn’t too different from the last two, but it is more efficient, entertaining, stuffed with Jim Carrey jollies and naturally populated with its brightly feathered animated characters. If the first was a modest road tripper, the next some by-the-books action-adventure questing, then this is the real blockbuster of the series, one that can dunk on Disney while emulating exactly what Dreamworks wants to be every time they put out some franchise fodder. Paramount has slyly wielded Sonic to advance the art of irreverence to places where saying this is the best video game movie in forever, or the best movie you can take your kid to outside of The Wild Robot (i.e. NOTHING) is actually less than the regular ol’ praise this stupid, seriously slaphappy movie deserves.

Carrey — now going all Eddie Murphy on us in a multiplied role, his first and only since A Christmas Carol, since the alter egos of The Mask and Batman Forever don't quite count — has made Robotnik the cornerstone of his late career, and he will pry at least five good laughs out of you before the curtains close, just above par with stellar supporting silliness throughout the trilogy. But by this point (or maybe for the first time), I can say Ben Schwartz IS Sonic, I’ve warmed up to a classic “grown lady pitches her voice to sound like a little boy” for Tails as well as Idris Elba’s ironic gravity as Knuckles. You even give enough of a shit about James Marsden despite this movie spending about ten minutes with any of those hominid, family film fools. Add the kind of tragic backstory this movie affords Keanu Reeves’ Shadow (improving on Knuckles' all too similar villain redemption arc last time) and you have a winter blockbuster teeming with fun and emotion and giggles — even the visual effects look less like the usual made-for-cheap skimping on the part of Paramount (whose pockets have been picked by Tom Cruise for a couple of the most expensive movies of all time).

But it can't all be golden rings and loop-de-loops. Like its predecessors the jokes are hit and miss even if Carrey ably carries the team on his back, and as storytelling it’s inevitably somewhat stale, yet the third Sonic can’t help but put in the work between the plot, action and pauses to sort out how to be a real movie amidst all the ridiculous, rambunctious revelry. Now there’s a GIRL Hedgehog and a ROBOT Hedgehog, and the manic, mildly crude Hedgehog saga will soldier on —  it seems Carrey will return from retirement every time, and until he phones it in my money's yours. I’m highlighting this flick over Barry Jenkins' Mufasa: The Lion King because frankly I couldn’t see a reason to invest in some cinematic world that has to steal its soul from other sources — Sonic 3 glides when you expect it to stumble. It's what Disney used to be, entertainment for the young and old, and until the Citizen Kane of video game feature films comes along (somehow I think A Minecraft Movie will keep us digging), I’ll keep rolling right along with this spiny blue smart-aleck.